Actual rating: 0.5 stars. Includes both a tl;dr review and a long list of issues I complied as I read it. I also tried for a list of positives, but in the end the two I could come up with ended up not really being true anyway. TL;DR Uninspired to the point of borderline plagiarism in places (examples below), dull, and at *least* 300 pages too long. With grammar and spelling mistakes that surprise me in a book not only published digitally but in print. 0.5 stars. 1/10. Don’t recommend and will NOT slog my way through again. The long, ranting version, Here there be spoilers! About 100 pages in and it’s beginning to get a little repetitious. Mary is ignored by her Very Mean Family, Charlotte comes in and drops lots of gloomy doom everywhere, wash rinse repeat. Mary isn’t growing or changing or forming any new ideas, she’s just getting more and more gloomy and sad and there’s still 370 pages to go It’s been a while since I’ve read P&P but does Mary NOT push herself forwards immediately rather than letting Miss Bingley go first when it comes to playing/singing at the ball? If the author is going to pretend follow the original so much it seems kind of a cop-out to have Mary suddenly show more restraint than she did in the book Idk I’m not a fan of the author turning so many of Lizzy’s actions into bad/cruel ones just to make Mary more sympathetic.
Basically the book comes down to: everyone is Mean to Mary, who spends 300 pages being Depressed because she is Ugly. She then proceeds to put on a “plain” but “nice” dress and now multiple men want her. The plot is snippets stolen from multiple Austen stories rehashed without originality or creativity, and what isn’t just plucked from Austen is dull, repetitious, and absurd. It’s the story of an unpopular “bookworm” girl surrounded by Mean People. You know that old tired “I’m not like other girls I READ” trope? That’s it. That’s the book. The author completely trashed Austen’s original characters, treats Lizzy (or is it Lizzie, the author spells it both ways) like a selfish, awful person, and even somehow made Mrs. Bennet out to be more ridiculous than the original.
Also like… being angry with Lizzy over asking her dad to stop Mary from playing?? Like that’s a valid reaction out of hurt but honestly Mary WAS being rude in expecting to play so many songs in a row?? And she was making a spectacle of herself.
I’d say poor Mr. Bennet but honestly he’s lucky to have died and gotten out of this story.
Caroline picking on Mary is just so… absurd. Just yet again, another “everyone is so mean to poor Mary uwu”. Like Caroline was catty but her being this level of vindictive b**** is just dumb.
Literally the first 2/3 of this book is “everyone hates/dislikes Mary for literally no reason”.
Aaaaaand now she’s made Charlotte jealous because she’s hanging out with Mr. Collins. My eyes rolled so hard I briefly saw my brain.
The author also straight up steals dialogue from the miniseries adaption, including this: “Did I tell you of Lady Metcalfe’s calling yesterday to thank me? She finds Miss Pope a treasure. ‘Lady Catherine,’ she said, ‘you have given me such a treasure.’…”
Actually the author steals a lot of things directly from either P&P the book, the television adaption, or even from S&S, including:
Towards the end of the book, post-Mr. Ryder being refused, Caroline literally becomes the next Lady Catherine, storming in with “did he make you an offer of marriage?!” It’s nearly the exact same scene, right down to Mary saying “you have insulted me and my family in every possible way. There is really nothing more to be said between us.”
Caroline also wrote Tom a letter (??????) that basically had the same effect as Lady Catherine telling Darcy that Lizzy had been stubborn about refusing to say she wouldn’t marry him.
The story of how Mr. Ryder becomes even more wealthy is almost verbatim plucked from S&S with the character names changed (Mrs. F disowning EF because he’s going to marry LS in S&S; LC disowning her daughter because she’s going to marry her doctor. Mrs. F bestows the family wealth on her other son in revenge; LC bestows it on Mr. Ryder who is…. Somehow… related….?? in revenge)
Tom’s line of “…if I had loved you less, I might have ventured more.” Taken from Mr. Knightley’s line in Emma.
Like, presumably the people who read this book are Austen fans, did she think no one would notice that she stole all of this??
Mary keeps making choices that deliberately and directly spoil a chance at happiness over nonsensical reasons (like not accepting the money from Lizzy even tho she literally can’t afford to dress for London otherwise, and Lizzy really wants to help Mary be happy, or not talking to Tom and then being angry because HE doesn’t talk either).
Mary DELIBERATELY DRESSES PLAIN AND DOWDY and yet asks “do people really perceive me as being dull and ugly” yes because your every mood and action makes you come across as dull and ugly this is YOUR fault at this point Mary.
After years of being too awkward to talk to anybody she’s somehow perfectly comfortable in conversation with someone. This book is literally just every “ugly duckling” story where the bookish nerd girl puts on a pretty dress and suddenly every man desires her and she finds the confidence to talk to him that she didn’t have while wearing her Ugly Clothes.
“It’s going to be hard to be happy after being (deliberately) miserable for so long,” says Mary. And then it wasn’t difficult at all. She’s having (private) lively discussions with a MAN with no effort and tons of boldness like 24 hours later.
Oh now we’ve been introduced to the cad of the story, Mr. Ryder, who is *gasp* related to Lady Catherine! And currently is desired by Ms. Bingley! Why does that sound familiar… oh! It’s Mr. Darcy except not the hero. Is there literally nothing original in this book?? (Hint: no, there isn’t.)
I don’t really like to use the term “Mary Sue” but at this point that’s what Mary is, in all the worst ways.
And now Caroline is offering unwanted advice. Why is half this hook just women whose names being with C offering Mary unsolicited and either mean-spirited or bitter advice about getting married or not getting married.
Also what was the point of setting up the guy who was going to become a doctor at all if he just never shows up again like what purpose did he serve except to be one of THREE MEN who fell in love with Mary for no discernible reason.
“You realize [….] novels are designed to entertain? They are not as task to be endured, but a pleasure to be enjoyed. If you do not like then, why do you continue with them?” The question I keep asking myself as I trudge through this terrible book.
Also if they don’t stop using the word “bloom/blooming” to describe Mary I’m going to stab someone.
Wow. Tom is just going to quit the field just like that, all because Mary had a nice walk with Mr. Ryder huh? In spite of Mary’s supposedly “very obvious” affection for him? What a spineless and bland “hero” he is. Although admittedly perfect for our bland and cardboard “heroine”.
The drama is so contrived it’s painful. Like it’s really stupid levels of bad.
“She had not invited his friend’s attentions” uh yeah you have and your aunt has been warning you about it this whole time
And again, severs pages later:
“It is very unfair,” she cried. “I did not invite Mr. Ryder’s attentions. I did nothing to encourage them.” Girl you kept inviting him over and literally giving him your attention. You kept inviting him to deliberately spite Caroline Bingely because you refused to “surrender the field” to her. You went out in public with him, ALONE, for ices. You 300% encouraged this.
“Anger was an unfamiliar emotion for Mary. In the past, she had not felt entitled to give way to anything so assertive.” Ah yes, meek little dormouse Mary who’s never even had the guts to be angry before. Except when she got angry at Lizzy for no good reason. “She had always assumed the blame for any fault” WHERE?? Literally the whole book makes everything that happens out to be the fault of anyone BUT Mary. Like the above where she swears she wasn’t encouraging Mr. Ryder’s affections when she in fact was.
“You are a woman, which, as you grow older, you are likely to discover puts you only slightly above the condition of an infant in the eyes of most of the world.” I can’t believe this line came out of a book inspired by Austen’s works. I really cannot.
More sulking and being sad again. 75% of this book is her sulking and being sad.
Oh hey it’s the fake love interest from 300+ pages ago. “I did not injure him so badly that he could not recover his spirit” for someone who supposedly hated herself Mary thinks very highly of her own ability to ruin forever the happiness of a guy who she refused to dance with a third time.
Tom comes back and Mary decides to Take Charge and now everything is fixed. I wish I cared AT ALL.
Oh and I’m supposed to buy that Caroline would run off and be Mr. Ryder’s mistress, huh? Sure, Jan. Caroline is a lot of things but she’s not so desperate that she would elope to be some rich guy’s mistress, come on.
Also they keep switching from Lizzy to Lizzie so like who was the editor here.
It’s over thank GOD.
